For the first time since leaving behind my job of six years, I will be actively seeking out employment tomorrow. I’d like to avoid working in a restaurant if it can be avoided, but it ultimately comes down to being able to pay my bills next month. Realistically, I only need something that can pay me $1200 in a month (significantly lower than I was making, but enough to pay the bills and pay off credit cards), but that will probably mean getting back into management if I only want to work part time. I’d really like to limit myself to 25-32 hours in a week, leaving time to keep writing on the blog, and start working on a novel. I think if I can nail down something for $12-13/hr, I can pull it off. I mean, that’s only going to be $3-4 over minimum wage here in California, and I do have years of management experience.

I have to polish up my resume, and iron out my suit, and find a printer I can use to canvass the businesses in my neighborhood with queries about work. It would probably help if I didn’t always feel entirely so exhausted. I honestly could sleep for at least a week, wake up for a bowl of cereal, and catch another hundred z’s. It seems like so much effort when I’d rather just stay at home, and despite the knowledge that I’ll be performing at a veteran level within a week or two, the notion of a first day at work completely terrifies me. Like every other newbie, I always feel I’m in the way, and I just want to get through the first couple days without screwing up anything major. Of course, I could stay awake all night and bust out the first quarter of a novel so that I could buy some more time from my wife before her hammer drops. I guess I better remember how to use an iron.

Brief Interlude- Things Which Shouldn’t Amuse Me, But Do:

A carnivore in a vegetative state

Angina

Poop deck

What is the most flavorful Spanish animal? Un delicioso 

Hippies

I wish there were a job that would allow me to lounge about all day and come up with inappropriate names for Metal Bands (Snuggle Riot), while still receiving a steady paycheck. It’s basically my goal to become a well-paid hermit, but one that only has to write occasionally, such as when the mood has stuck him. This blog is helping, for sure, as I’ve written over 30,000 words since I began, which is easily double what I wrote in the whole of the 12 months before that. I’m getting more comfortable with the mechanics of the clickety-clackety, and my inner narrative voice has regained some of it composure. The only thing I’m really missing at this point is my imagination. I’ve gotten too used to trying to rationalize all of the insanity, that any time I try to start something, I have to understand its universe molecularly, and that makes it a little daunting, to be sure. But fear not, people who might one day want to give me money for something which I’m currently providing free of charge: These little 1,000 word epistles are, for the most part, completely different every day, free of themes or plotlines. I am giving myself a crash course in improvisational wordsmithing, starting from scratch almost every day, and wrangling from the ether something that resembles intent.

It’s a bit nerve-wracking, but it’s also kind of fun. I get the chance to just let loose with whatever comes to mind, and pad it out with verbiage. I know I’ve been saying it for awhile, but I really do feel like I’m on the brink of a substantial composition. My muscles have been stretched, and I’ve broken a sweat (figuratively, that is), and I feel like when I choose to start, I’ll be able to keep going. I just need to actually get through to my muse, who seems to have been screening my calls since we took a break. She’s a fickle sort of inspiration, and I have to admit that I could have tended better the sweet nothings which we once shared. But I know she misses me, and sooner or later (most likely in the middle of the night) she’ll toss aside her better judgment, and drunk-dial Mr. Batmart.

Brief Interlude- Things I Don’t Much Care For:

Cable news

49ers fans

Cauliflower

Waiting in line

Pants

So what are my priorities for prospective jobs? Well, aside from enough money to make it all worthwhile, it should ideally be fairly close to home, so that I don’t have to waste the first hour of my shift paying to get out there and back home again. I’d like a minimum of customer interaction, as I’ve had quite enough of that over the course of my working life, and I’d like to do something that required me to sit for at least a quarter of my shift. I’m getting older, and those desk jobs that I read about when I was younger are looking more and more attractive. I know that if I wanted to, I could call in a couple favors, and get back into restaurant management (and a decent salary) almost immediately. Depending on how the job search goes, I may have to go that route. I’m not thrilled at the prospect of it, but the fact is that I’ve built up a decent network of contacts over my time in food service, and they know what kind of man I am, and what level of competency I bring to the table. Personally, I think a peripheral recommendation is almost more valuable than a direct one, as it is based only on results and high-impact interactions, where as office politics can sometimes get in the way with people who you’ve worked with.

I did this so that I could look my son directly in the eye and tell him that money can’t buy him happiness, and to always go after his own dreams. I just hope my example is more inspirational encouragement, rather than cautionary tale.

-Tex